My Memory Ain't What it Used to be
by Seylin
Summary: Cain tries hard but he just can’t seem to remember why he ever left Ambrose. Sequel to “So Close”. Slash


Title: My Memory Ain't What it Used to be  
Author: Seylin  
Summary: Cain tries hard but he just can't seem to remember why he ever left Ambrose. Sequel to "So Close".  
Rating: PG  
Warning: Slash. Cain/Ambrose. Het. Cain/Adora.  
Disclaimers: This story is based on characters and situations created and owned by Imagiquest Entertainment. Song lyrics belong to Jason Aldean. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended.

My Memory Ain't What it Used to be

Cain walked past the dining room, ignoring the laughter of the royal family. It had been a month since the defeat of the evil witch and for that month Cain had been thinking over the past. He had spent twenty years in that blasted tin suit planning how he would avenge his family and now it had been done. Adora was dead; he had made peace with that, although he still missed her. Jeb was a captain in the newly reinstated tin man group, Cain couldn't have been prouder of his son.

And then there was Ambrose… the Queen had spared no expense in finding an alchemist that could return the brain to the head case. A week of recovery had followed and now the inventor was hard at work trying to restore the O.Z. with new inventions. Cain paused outside of Ambrose's lab, glancing inside just long enough to see that the ex head case was lost in some new invention. Cain sighed and shook his head before continuing on his way. He would get Ambrose to eat later.

Once outside, Cain took a deep breath of the first air before making his way out to the garden. He had been thinking a lot in the past few weeks, taking time to remember more than he had been willing to in a long time. Now the last few weeks of his tin man training were on his mind.

Normally the days were exhausted with drills, various tests and very few breaks. Normally Cain would have gone back to the barracks and rested after his training ended but ever since that dance a week ago he found himself going to the palace to visit the man he had danced with. Cain couldn't remember a night he had enjoyed more. Ambrose was so… smart. They talked about anything and argued about everything. Their arguments rarely turned serious but Cain loved how Ambrose would not simply back down like most did.

The night before his graduation had been one of the saddest he had ever experienced. Months before when he had left Adora he had felt sad, but watching Ambrose work on something called the "Sun Seeder" he felt… empty. When had he started to count on Ambrose's presence in his life? Oh right… when they had spent hours talking after the dance.

_"I want to stay here," Cain stated. Ambrose glanced up and then snorted as he went back to screwing a small screw into place. "What is that supposed to mean?" _

_"Cain, you do not belong here. You are a simple man," Ambrose replied. "Plus, all your training would have been for nothing, and what of Adora?" Cain winced, wishing he had never mentioned her to Ambrose. A couple of hours later Cain had proposed it again in the kitchen but received the same response. An hour after that Cain bid Ambrose goodbye, tomorrow he would be graduating. _

Walking away from the palace that night his heart had never broken more.

**It must have been a mountain standing in our way  
Or some small misunderstanding  
We talked about too late  
Was it the kitchen or the bedroom  
Where we let a good thing go  
Was it destined dreams, or space we needed?  
I don't know.  
**

"Punch, dodge, kick, dodge…" Ambrose chanted as he acted on the words. He and Cain were in one of the back courtyards of the palace, both stripped to the waist as they danced around each other in a sparring match. Cain had wanted to learn some of those fancy moves Ambrose had used to dispatch the long coats so he had asked Ambrose to teach him. The advisor was more than happy to comply and so the next day they had started Cain's lessons. Now a week later it was the first day Cain hadn't found himself on his back within the first ten minutes of their practice.

Somehow this felt very familiar to Cain… but he couldn't remember ever sparring with Ambrose. He dodged a punch Ambrose threw and caught Ambrose's smile. Ah, that was it, that smile. Had Ambrose's smile always made him feel this way? If it had… why did he ever leave?

**Baby, lately my memory  
Ain't what it used to be at all  
It's crazy, but holding you close to me  
Seeing you smile at me  
Is all that I recall  
Cause baby it don't matter how hard I try  
I still can't remember why we said goodbye  
**

One, two, three movements to spread the butter on the bread. One, two, three movements to spread the jelly on the same piece of bread. Ambrose rarely ate the meat that was presented at any meal other than supper so this was not an occurrence that Cain was unused to. Cain had found himself watching Ambrose more and more as of late. He tried to avoid spending hours in the advisor's lab but in truth that was all he wanted to do.

Adora had been his childhood sweetheart, he had done everything most little boys did to the girls they liked. He had put frogs in her desk, dipped her hair in ink, and basically just picked on her any chance he had gotten. The day he had left flowers on her doorstep he had thought that was the first day of the rest of his life. He had never counted on being locked away in a tin suit for twenty years. He had never counted on falling in love with a young advisor just weeks before he and Adora were married.

Cain sighed; all this thinking was giving him a headache. Ambrose glanced at him at the sigh. Their eyes caught and Ambrose smiled. Cain hoped the blush he felt wasn't showing as badly as he thought it was.

**Maybe time's just playing tricks on me these days  
Or maybe these old feelings never went away  
Cause all that i remember  
Is that I'm still in love with you  
And if I'm losing my mind, I hope you are too  
**

_After the graduation ceremony had been completed Cain looked everywhere for Ambrose but couldn't find him. _

_'Was I just seeing things?' He wondered as he slowly made his way to the barracks. Pulling out his bag from under his bunk he started to pack his few possessions. He played with the idea of going to the palace and seeing Ambrose again… who knew when he would get to see the man again? _

_Someone behind him clearing their throat and Cain turned. The smile came before he had even thought about it and Ambrose smiled back. It seemed like it had only taken two steps to get across the room and envelop Ambrose in a hug. _

**Baby, lately my memory  
Ain't what it used to be at all  
It's crazy, but holding you close to me  
Seeing you smile at me  
Is all that i recall  
Cause baby it don't matter how hard i try  
I still can't remember why we said goodbye**  
**Goodbye**

_Ambrose returned the hug, his cheek resting against Cain's shoulder. Cain had become his best friend in the past few weeks, he had never had a best friend other than his inventions before. He hated to see Cain leave but… Cain did not belong here. _

_"Let me stay with you," Cain whispered into his hair. Ambrose blinked back tears. _

_"You do not belong here Cain." Ambrose felt Cain stiffen and then he had pulled away. Cain was angry but Ambrose had to be firm. Cain did not belong here, at least not yet. Cain went over to his bed and picked up his hat, placing it on his head. _

_"Goodbye Ambrose," he said curtly. _

_"Goodbye Cain," Ambrose whispered. _

Cain's eyes widened at the memory. The tightness of Ambrose's arms… the sadness in his voice… he had not wanted Cain to leave but he had to! That… could that have been it? He jumped up from the seat he had claimed in the library, the forgotten book that had been in his lap fell to the floor and he ran from the room.

Ambrose would know. He had to know. It didn't even register in Cain's mind that it was getting close to dawn as he ran through the hallways to Ambrose's room.

**It's crazy  
But holding you close to me  
Seeing you smile at me  
Is all that I recall  
Cause baby, it don't matter how hard i try  
I still can't remember why we said goodbye  
Why we said goodbye  
Why did we say goodbye?**


End file.
